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shit we’re watching
THE MAGOG
on the manach
Reddish-Pink Slime Discovered Flowing Beneath The Middle East
New "Sentient Elmo" Raises Concerns Along With Fisher Price Profits
Ants Fight Over Piece of Shit
Michael Flatley Just One of Several Warlords of the Dance
All Pretense Drops, Americans Will Just Vote For Corporations
America Launches Probe to Investigate Alleged World History
Airlines Ban People From Flights
Bronson Pinchot May Still Be Alive
Local Pals Discuss Women While Playing Some One-On-One
Iran Attempts To Aquire Schizofusion Antimatter
Golden Calf Worship Makes A Comeback as "God" Worship Plummets
Michael Dorn Important
Sleeping Grants are Handed Out in Canada
Americans Illegally Immigrate in Search of the Mexican and Canadian Dreams
Britney Not Talking to Skylar, Reports Dana
God Announces Holy Land is Actually in Dayton, Ohio
Canadians Take Advantage of America’s Mexican Distractions
Iran's New Missile Shaped Nuclear Power Plant Raises International Concerns
America Breathes Sigh of Relief; Canada Votes to Extend Tropp Presence in Afganistan
Mr. T Endures Nietzschean Soul-Crisis
Local Woman Acknowledges Funniness of Suitors Anecdote, But Doesn't Laugh
Microorganisms Discovered to be Lazy
Controversial Editorialist Doesn't See What the Big Deal is About 911
Genocide Ad Puts Damper on Myspace Session
Corporations to be Given A.I. Personalities
Ex-President George W. Bush Thaws GOP Relationship with NAACP
Edward James Olmos Expresses Low-key, Haggard Joy for Success
New "Fuck-Me Elmo" Widens the Elmo Demographic
Key Witness an Old Man with an Eccentric Hobby
Local Man Not Afraid of India or China
More Teen Violence Blamed on Video Games
Humanity Wipes Its Ass With The Wadded Shreds of Religion, and Moves the Fuck On
Regular Tickle Me Elmo Forced on to The Streets
‘Gettin’ By’ Dubbed World’s Worst Video Game By Industry Experts
New Car Will Reach Broad Demographic
North Korea to Help Iran Set off Small, Vaguely Nuclear Blast
Neanderthal Reparations Spark Controversy
Area Man Disappointed to Find Out His Spirit Animal is a Paramecium
PC User Attempts to Defrag Pile of Silicon Dust
Slacker Cell Discovered in Detroit Suburb
Shias and Sunnis Face Off in Well-Choreographed Dance/Street Fight
Source of Tainted Spinach Found
Americans Immigrate to Valinor
N Korea Deal On Track to Prolong Nuclear Stand-Off
